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The 2039 Daily Keg - The Brewski's

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  • The 2039 Daily Keg - The Brewski's



    The Brewski's

    The Daily Keg is excited to announce the 9th annual Brewski Awards show. After drinking too much pre-Brewski's last year and missing the award show we are back with a bang! The selection committee has poured over the season stats and excitedly announces the winners for the following awards, some serious...some not so serious. So without further delay here we go.

    Player of the Year

    LF Richie 'Powder' van Luik, SEA - He hit .402 and stole 92 bases with a 9.2 WAR. Any other questions?

    2030 winner: 3B Johnny 'Big Stick' Swope, SEA
    2031 winner: 1B Turell 'Two Ton' Morris, MAI
    2032 winner: 3B Johnny 'Big Stick' Swope, SEA
    2033 winner: C Ian James, SDR
    2034 winner: 1B Johnny 'Big Stick' Swope, SEA
    2035 winner: 1B Johnny 'Big Stick' Swope, CAL
    2036 winner: 1B Johnny 'Big Stick' Swope, CAL
    2037 winner: CF Rory Elia, CAR

    Hitter of the Year

    1B J.D. 'Hurricane' Rice, BAL - It's hard not to give it to the guy who hit .402 and stole 92 bases but 'Hurricane' hit .333/.402/.662 with 52 HR's, 135 RBI's, and a 7.7 WAR. He was the only player in the BLB to hit over 50 home runs and he's now done that three times, back to back to back. He is 27 years old and has 231 career dingers already. Someone wake up O'Hearn from his booze induced coma and let him know a Hurricane is coming...and not the drink before he gets too excited.

    2030 winner: 1B Turell 'Two Ton' Morris, MAI
    2031 winner: RF Ron 'Vampire' Hutchison, HAR
    2032 winner: 1B Jermaine Williams, IND
    2033 winner: 1B Manny Quezada, PHO
    2034 winner: LF Fred Falloon, IND
    2035 winner: DH Ron 'Vampire' Hutchison, HAR
    2036 winner: CF Rory Elia, CAR
    2037 winner: DH Manny Quezada, WIL

    Pitcher of the Year

    P Barton Mejia, WC - He already captured his second straight Triple Crown and will more than likely be chosen unanimously for his second straight Pale Ale. He has overtaken Plumley as the most dominant pitcher in the game and he's only 26. His season stat line: 23-3, 2.08 ERA, 1.01 WHIP, 275 K's, 9.4 WAR. Unreal.

    2030 winner: Manabu Hamada, DEN
    2031 winner: Manabu Hamada, DEN
    2032 winner: Noel Graham, MAI
    2033 winner: Pat 'Baja' Arballo, WAS
    2034 winner: JJ Plumley, WIL
    2035 winner: JJ Plumley, WIL
    2036 winner: JJ Plumley, WIL
    2037 winner: JJ Plumley, WIL

    Rookie of the Year

    LF Davis Abbott, WIL - The 14th overall pick of the 2035 draft was joined by fellow outfield rookie Cayden Huff to form some sort of rookie Transformer, that when activated comes together to destroy opposing pitchers. Abbott hit .311/.364/.532 with 33 HR's, 93 RBI's, 16 SB's, a 12.3+ ZR, and a 5.2 WAR. Huff ended up with a 5.1 WAR and their direct competition to get better and out shine each other should fuel the Clowns for the next decade.

    2030 winner: 1B Pat Walton, HAR
    2031 winner: 2B Alex Arana, SDR
    2032 winner: 1B Dave Perry, PIT
    2033 winner: 2B Tom Martin, NYK
    2034 winner: CF Rory Elia, CAR
    2035 winner: RF Robert 'Stretch' Jessee
    2036 winner: 3B Dawson 'Wedge' Davis, WC
    2037 winner: 1B Edgar Alonzo, WAS
    __________________________________________________

    All-State Hands Award
    (Given to the player with the most total chances and no errors...who doesn't play primarily first base)

    CF Cayden Huff, WIL - Hey remember that guy we talked about...like 10 seconds ago? Well he played center for the Clowns for 141 games, had 450 total chances, and never made a single error. His +11.4 ZR was also fourth best among center fielders. We heard more than once Plumley went to sleep smiling just thinking of Huff and Abbott.

    2030 winner: RF Dusty Janson, DEN
    2031 winner: LF Jamie Hendon, NY
    2032 winner: CF Gil Banda, SEA
    2033 winner: CF Tom White, SDR
    2034 winner: RF Donnie Wilson, MON
    2035 winner: CF Mat Weir, NO
    2036 winner: CF Ian 'Viper' Lisch, NO
    2037 winner: CF Rick Watson

    Army Ranger Sniper Award
    (Given to the catcher with the highest runner thrown out percentage with a minimum of 30 attempts)

    C Dave James, PAW - The long lost brother of Ian James only played in 72 games and hit a measly .193, but everyone and their mom tried to steal a base on him. In the end 34 runners tried, and 17 of them were thrown out by his sniper of an arm for an RTO of 50%.

    2030 winner: C Micah Gordon, WIL
    2031 winner: C Ian 'Pickles' James, SDR
    2032 winner: C Landon McClelland, PHI
    2033 winner: C Tristan Logan, SEA
    2034 winner: C Dusty Akkerman, PAW
    2035 winner: C Micah Gordon, PIT
    2036 winner: C Sean Covington, SYR
    2037 winner: C Jayden Dean, PAW

    Frank Abagnale, Jr Award
    (
    Given to the player who stole at least 20 bases and was caught the least)

    RF Gilles 'Mudcat' Rugiero, PHI - The 28 year old isn't the fastest player in the BLB but his instincts on the base put him ahead of almost anyone else in the league. This season he swiped 27 bases in 29 attempts for a 93.1% success rate, highest in the league (for our standards). Over his illustrious four year career in the majors he is 91 for 99 when testing opposing pitchers and catchers on the base paths.

    2030 winner: CF Pat Welch, BAT
    2031 winner: LF Akiyuki Kimura, MAI
    2032 winner: RF R.J. Kapper, PIT
    2033 winner: RF R.J. Kapper, PIT
    2034 winner: RF R.J. Kapper, PIT
    2035 winner: CF Seth Blankenship, SYR
    2036 winner: CF Marcos Savage, LAD
    2037 winner: RF Riley Thomas, SEA

    Ludacris Award
    (
    Given to the player who got hit with the most pitches)

    LF Chang-hyun Kym, HAR - Goodness me as poor Kym got hit 24 times this season in 152 games, six more than his closest competition. He was an All-Star DWI winner in 2037 and 2038 but this season had an off year. A man can only perform so well when you're constantly taking balls to the face.

    2030 winner: 1B Geoff 'Mr. Reliable' Dail, MIA
    2031 winner: 2B Dave 'Bulldog' Bickford, NY
    2032 winner: 2B Tristan Hagen, HAR
    2033 winner: 1B Joy-shan Guo, BAT
    2034 winner: LF Benny Tatsuno, PIT
    2035 winner: 2B Hideki Nakayama, MAI
    2036 winner: RF Tony Chieregati, HAR
    2037 winner: RF Hyun-seung Bark, BAT

    Broadside of the Barn Award
    (Given to the player with the highest strikeouts per plate appearance)

    SS Shannon Jackson, PHO - The 24 year old was a 6th round draft pick in 2035 and there is no rags to riches story here. In 71 games and 235 AB's he struck out 102 times, which comes to 41.6%. What is sad is that he has the rare ability to play almost any position in the field and his work ethic is constantly raved about by his teammates. Usually it goes like this..."man I love Shannon, his work ethic is unbelievable. I come early and he's here, I stay late and he's here. Too bad he can't hit worth s***."

    2030 winner: LF Sayid bin Sariyah, LAD
    2031 winner: C Sean Gallion, SYR
    2032 winner: 1B Tom Lewis, MAI
    2033 winner: C Jaime 'Dodo' Bushnell, CAR
    2034 winner: 1B Dave Schaefer, NYK
    2035 winner: C Jaden Stills, MAI
    2036 winner: 1B Tommy Spielman, LAD
    2037 winner: LF Grant Hockensmith, CAR

    Swing For Between the Infielders Award
    (Given to the player with the most hits but no home runs)

    C Dave Nichols, MIA - The 28 year old Nichols is a rich man due to his amazing play behind the plate and at the plate, so we can overlook the fact that his wet noodle bat can't quite reach the outfield. In 128 games and 523 at bats he hit .356/.385/.432 with 0 HR's and 50 RBI's. In seven full time seasons he does have 23 total home runs but he just couldn't muster one this year. We saw the new GM giving him some pointers on laying the wood though so next year we expect things to be different.

    2030 winner: 2B Ricky 'Heartthrob' Figueroa, DEN
    2031 winner: 2B Ricky 'Heartthrob' Figueroa, DEN
    2032 winner: 3B Ron Morgan, SDR
    2033 winner: RF Tom Lyon, PHO
    2034 winner: C Tony Solorio, HAR
    2035 winner: 2B Ricky 'Heartthrob' Figueroa, WC
    2036 winner: 2B Ricky 'Heartthrob' Figueroa, WC
    2037 winner: RF Kam Foster, NO

    Dickey's BBQ Beans Award
    (Given to the pitcher who hits the most batters)

    P Zachary Kennedy, MAI - Sheng Jong tried his best to go back to back to back but his 15 batters beaned fell short of Kennedy, who put his balls on 20 batters this season! Wait...what? Anyways when you go 7-16 with a 6.16 ERA and 1.65 WHIP we think you might have a bit of a control issue. Lets look over his past seasons to see if it was an anomaly: 6-17, 6.61 ERA in 2038; 7-15, 5.38 ERA in 2037; 2-13, 4.85 ERA in 2035...nope. The poor guy even had a losing record in AAA in 2036.

    2030 winner: P Nate Bettis, PHO
    2031 winner: P Pat Burgess, PIT
    2032 winner: P Robby 'Bruiser' McEvoy, BAL
    2033 winner: P Jarrod Peacock, PHI
    2034 winner: P Robby 'Bruiser' McEvoy, BAL
    2035 winner: P Erik Martin, NYK
    2036 winner: P Sheng 'Admiral' Jong, SDR
    2037 winner: P Sheng 'Admiral' Jong, SDR

    The Milton Swingline Stapler Award
    (The player who earned a check without deserving one)

    CF Dave Tibbs, SDR - You think he'd be smiling more after earning $19,000,000 this season and posting a -0.9 WAR in 25 games for the Rum Runners. He also played for AAA Reno and AA Miramar (as you can see by his lovely picture). Thank goodness for him it's President Trump's 6th term and Tibbs will only have to pay $750 in taxes next year.

    2030 winner: P Jerrod Blick, TOR
    2031 winner: P Jerrod Blick, TOR
    2032 winner: 1B Dylan Owens, TOR
    2033 winner: 3B Erik Redding, CAL
    2034 winner: 1B Dylan Owens, TOR
    2035 winner: 1B Joy-shan Guo, BAT
    2036 winner: SS Pat Pierce, CAR
    2037 winner: P Jarrod Peacock, PHI
    ..

  • #2
    I love the Brewsk's! Great job Matt!
    GM California Kodiaks 2014 - Present
    Brewmaster's Cup Champions 2036, 2043


    GM Edmonton Herd 1987 - Present
    Brewmaster's Bowl Champions - 1990


    GM Toronto Arenas 1979/80 - 1982/1983
    Brewmaster's Ice Cup Champions 1979/80

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    • #3
      What was this about Brad teaching someone how to lay the pipe?
      Denver Bulls

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Carlos View Post
        What was this about Brad teaching someone how to lay the pipe?
        Someone let JR Smith know

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